5% - 227.8 (-11.99)
10% - 215.8 (-23.98)
15% - 203.8 (-35.97)
20% - 191.8 (-47.96)
25% - 179.8 (-59.95)
30% - 167.8 (-71.94)

final goal weight:
160 - 180 lbs
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Monday, January 20, 2014

In a funk!

I weighed in this morning for my BBM Challenge.  I was at 224.6 on my scale.  Not cool!  I didn't write down my starting weight but I think it was 222 lbs.  I was not happy!  In fact, it set my mood for the whole day which I didn't want it to but I couldn't help it.

I still went to WW with Lyndsey even though I didn't want to.  We don't weigh in, we just go to the meetings on Mondays.  I felt like the meeting was speaking to me.  I have been beyond frustrated and often thought about quitting WW since I'm not losing and using it like I should.  So this week they talked about just that!  They talked about taking small steps and one day at a time.  I sat there (in the front row) with tears streaming down my cheeks, trying not to cry and let anyone see me.  My friend Lyndsey was awesome and noticed and gave me a big hug to let me know it's ok, we've all been there.  Of course as soon as she did that the tears came faster.  I really wanted to book it to the restroom but didn't want everyone to notice.  It was rough!  I have made a commitment to WW and I won't be quitting, I'm just going to step up my game.

I went to do my BBM Challenge workout and she started off the video with a talk about how she stepped on the scale and had a gain.  She emphasized not to get discouraged that it will come with time.  There's no way you and do the workouts and not change your body.  I was so thankful to hear that from her, someone who's done it before.

All I wanted to do was cry, all day.  So this is what I posted on the BBM Challenge group:

Apparently I have lots to say this evening. LOL...sorry! I need to vent and maybe it will help someone else in the same boat too, maybe it wont?!

I enjoyed Briana's talk at the beginning of today's video. I'm going to be honest with you all. I was feeling a bit discouraged this morning when I weighed myself and took my measurements. I had a gain last week which I expected but this week I was hoping to have a loss (and am still hoping I will on Thur for my WW weigh in). I didn't gain a whole pound but was still discouraged. My Weight watchers meeting spoke to me too and I sat there in the meeting in tears.

I really enjoy these workouts and with the exception of today, look forward to them. I put in my 100% during them and it's hard to not see it reflect on the scale. I have lost 2 inches total so I'm seeing results there but had hoped for more and for it to reflect on the scale.

Weight loss is and always has been a constant struggle for me. I swear I can look at food and gain weight! I realize that muscle weighs more than fat. I am drinking plenty of water. I am not following her meal plan but doing WW and am aware of what I'm eating and except for Saturday night, have been pretty good! It's just frustrating and I hate that it consumes my life at times.

So with all that said...I will not give up! I'm going to plug away at it and if anything, I'll get stronger muscles, right?! Thank for listening!

My friends were super supportive and I appreciated all the comments.  Nobody said that they've gained but they all reassured me that it will come off (and I hope they're right).  I think that I just needed that reassurance.  I feel a bit better for getting it off my chest but honestly, I'll feel better when it starts reflecting on the scale and in my clothes.

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